"What being self confident looks like?"
I was asking me this question a lot when I was a teenager. But before finding the answer, I think it's important to recognize what it's like to be "unconfident".
Being unconfident : what it feels like
"Being unconfident, it's when you feel like you're not useful, when you think you can't succeed."
For me, my lack of self confidence took the form of a lot and a lot of comparison. I was always comparing myself with the other, in real life, or even on social media. I thought I was : "not as pretty as her", "as smart", or "as fit"...
You struggle to see your value. There's a voice in your head who's alway here to remind you how you won't succeed, and how it's not even worth trying to accomplish something you're afraid of. Like answering a question in class, or even talking to your crush can be hard.
What is happening is that you're not living your life at the fullest.
Then, how to finally become self confident?
2. Self confidence :
"Being confident is being aware of your capacity, your strength, of what makes you different from the others. It's knowing your inner power"
On your way to try to find your inner power, at first you may try to became like "the others", like the person you admire on real life, or on social media. It can be a good thing if this is pushing you to become a better version of yourself. But try not to lose your true self in the process, by pretending to be someone you're not. As we say in French "chasser le naturel, il revient au galop". You can't pretend a very long time to be someone you're not.
"So how do we know who we truly are?"
"By noticing the things we love to do. "
Start by trying to notice what you're good at, or what you're passionate about. What makes you full, and happy. What makes you love who you are. It can be anything : dancing, singing, doing yoga, cooking, creating, reading, playing video games, painting, playing music, writing, working out...
You can love something you're not even "good at" for exemple I love cooking and gardening, even if I'm truly bad at it! But I think that recognizing what you love to do is the first step to feel more confident. It's a way to feel strong and capable.
3. I have a little exercise for you!
Now, on a paper or on your phone, whatever is best for you, start by writing 10 of your defaults, and then 10 of your qualities. No more, no less. This default and qualities are part of who you are. Even if you don't like them, they makes you who you are. They makes you different and UNIQUE.
So take care of yourself, realize how rare you are! I hope you'll find the courage to believe in yourself 💌
Sending you love and light! ❤️
Apolline